I’m 27, and I find myself in situations feeling like I have to vy for the affections and attention of men. I’m rarely shaken up by other women. Prettier girls aren’t as charming as I am, less attractive women are less attractive. For years, I beat my suitors to the punch. Ignored them before they ignored me, and this year I decided to give in and my biggest fear presented itself — rejected, abandoned, on the wrong side of a love unrequited.

On my best days, I’m beautiful. On any day, I’m intelligent, creative, independent, empathetic, spontaneous, and funny. On my worst days, I’m emotive, intense, indecisive, and insecure. I believe we’re all capable of identifying with all of the layers that we have within ourselves and we move through our character qualities quite often. However, unlike most, I find myself dwelling on my bad qualities and it manifests itself in my dating life, especially when you meet people who put a cap and condition on it. As much as it sucks, most people’s love have conditions and we’ll never quite truly be able to be ourselves without compromise. …



Consider this a tough love diary to myself for you all.

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